Growing Pains: The Unspoken Struggles of Adulthood

Growing Pains: The Unspoken Struggles of Adulthood

I woke up today to the kind of cold that seeps into your bones, the kind that makes you want to curl back under the blankets and disappear from the world. But I couldn’t. I had a train to catch, a job to be on time for, responsibilities that wouldn’t pause just because I was exhausted.

As I rushed through my morning routine, a familiar thought crept in—What if I had just remained a child? What if I never had to wake up to alarms, bills, expectations, and this constant weight of being? But that’s not how life works.

I used to hear my grandparents say, Kurauone, mwanangu—Grow up and see for yourself. As a child, I never understood it. I thought they were just being dramatic, throwing around wisdom that didn’t apply to me. Back then, we believed our parents were unfair when they denied us something, when they disciplined us, when they made choices we didn't agree with. We thought we knew better. But now, I see it—clear as day. They weren’t trying to make life difficult; they were preparing us for the battle called adulthood.

And it is a battle. A relentless, exhausting one.

There are decisions to make, expectations to meet, people who rely on you. Family to support, work to show up for, bills that don’t care if you’re mentally drained. And if you’re African, add black tax to the mix—taking care of those who once took care of you, sometimes at the expense of yourself.

Even the way we speak has changed. The once vibrant conversations with friends have turned into sighs and phrases like Pakaipa (It’s tough) or Zvakaoma (It’s hard). We laugh about it, but deep down, we all know—we’re tired. We are carrying so much, and some days, it feels like we are walking on a tightrope with no safety net.

So how do we move from here?

I don’t have the perfect answer, but I do know this—we keep going. We take breaks when we need to. We rest without guilt. We remind ourselves that even in the chaos, we are doing our best. And when it gets too much, we lean on the people who remind us that we’re not alone.

Because adulthood is hard, but we weren’t meant to go through it alone.

“Adulthood is like looking both ways before crossing the street, only to get hit by an airplane.”